Kellan did NOT leave on his business trip yesterday—instead, after weeks of bending the truth and trying desperately not to spill the proverbial beans, my sneaky husband flew to Maryland last night to surprise his sweet Mom for Mother’s day.
Which would have been precious and perfect if we’d ONLY GOTTEN THE DATE RIGHT. Imagine our utter astonishment this morning when we learned that Mother’s day is, in fact, NEXT Sunday instead of this weekend.
What year is it? What country am I in? And why did none of you tell me this? I thought we were friends. Here I was all “What about Cinco de Mayo!?”, when apparently there was really nothing to worry about at all. The margaritas are safe! [Of course, approximately 84% of the time when my Mother and I say we’re “out running errands”, we’re really out drinking margaritas so chances are my margaritas would have been safe either way. Please don’t tell her I told.]
It was a sweet attempt—both of us flying home to be with our Mamas. Unfortunately, I believe we did more harm than good as both Mothers are now left pondering where on earth they went wrong raising two adult children that have no grasp whatsoever on the socially-accepted calendar. But it’s too late to apologize, and can’t be helped now. Like using WiFi at Starbucks, they’re going to have to celebrate on OUR terms.
I am thankful for my Mother-in-law for a myriad of reasons, and here are three:
- I hear that most girls have to pretend to like their mother-in-laws. I have a wretched poker face, so this would have been a disaster of apocalyptic proportions. Thank heavens, mine happens to be the kindest person that I’ve ever met. Period.
- She is my saving grace on family game night. The Dickens are a competitive lot, friends—so family game night is NO JOKE. Unfortunately, I have this unhealthy propensity to burst into tears if I think someone is angry with me during a game of Monopoly. TAKE PARK PLACE I DON’T WANT IT ANYMORE!! I’m not going to lie, I think every single marital problem that Kellan and I have can be traced back to one fateful game of Settlers of Catan. Though come to think of it, battling another couple in Wii bowling didn’t help a thing. Baby, I need you to TRY. I AM TRYING!!! Thankfully, Gina approaches game night with the same “Why can’t we just be FRIENDS!?” giggly attitude that I do. In fact, we often team up together, and the first time she helped me cheat I almost peed myself laughing. [Never fear—our underhanded tactics have yet to win us a thing. We pose approximately zero threat to our competitive compatriots.]
- She’s a dark horse. Is Gina the sweetest person I’ve ever met? Hands down. But she’s also one of the funniest! I’d divulge details if I COULD, but let’s just say a conversation that she, Keri and I had about my bachelorette party STILL makes me laugh out loud every time the story dances across my mind.
Happy Mother’s day, Moms. Whenever on earth it is.