Let’s be clear right off the bat: fifteen dollars cannot buy happiness.
It turns out, however, that fifteen dollars can buy you a little black fan on sale at Target, which will make enough noise at night to drown out the sound of your blissfully unaware husband snoring just four inches from your crazy-eyed face. Which, right now, feels precisely like happiness, so I should probably recant:
In breaking news, it turns out that fifteen dollars can, in fact, buy happiness.
I’m not kidding, I’m contemplating naming our firstborn child “Fan” on account of the thing probably just saved my marriage.
[Where was THAT in premarital counseling?!]
But really, with names like “Apple” and “North” on the table, I think “Fan Dickens” is totally a viable option. And honestly, I like the idea of naming our hypothetical offspring after the things that keep Kellan and I together. Though this point, “Break and Bake Cookies” would have to be in the running as well. And with a name like “Break and Bake Cookies Dickens”, our kid would never make it past kindergarten, and would be destined to grow up to become either a rapper or a stripper.
But hey–at least there would be options.